I'm Here to Rescue You
by CloakedDragonWing3721
Summary: Gotham's richest are gathered at Richard Grayson's fourteenth birthday party. Unfortunately, the open door that is Arkham Asylum has struck again. When Penguin wants diamonds, Poison Ivy wants Gotham to stop polluting, and Joker just wants a few laughs, what could go wrong?
1. Penguin

The real party was yesterday. The real party had been fun. The real party had been as Robin with the Young Justice team and Batman.

This was not a party. This unparty is as boring as watching grass grow. This unparty is as Richard Grayson with a bunch of airhead socialites and stuck-up snobs.

As Dick finished saying hello to some girl who apparently went to his school and was rich. She also was wearing way too much eyeshadow. That was beside the point. Dick spotted Bruce in the crowd, desperately holding back a near grimace of pain. Nobody else would have noticed, but Dick could. He wasn't the younger half of the Dynamic Duo for nothing.

Bruce saw Dick coming and hurriedly broke off his conversation with a snooty elderly man and met Dick near the lunch table. "How are you doing, chum?"

Dick couldn't hold back a wince as he thought of the amount of bullies and jerks he had had to be nice to in the past half hour. "Awful, but I'll probably survive. How much longer is this?"

"Another hour."

"Jeez. I'd rather be trying to track down the escapees from Arkham. That's way more important than this stupid party."

"I know. But how would it look if the richest kid in Gotham didn't have a birthday party?"

Dick tilted his head thoughtfully. "Well, I could have been sick."

Bruce shook his head, just as Dick had expected. "No. We've already used that excuse a few too many times."

"Yeah. Oh well. At least the party's outdoors." Dick did not think he could handle doing this inside. That goodness for Alfred's foresight in having a picnic party.

Dick was jolted out of his thoughts by two dozen men armed with guns ran out of the trees and surrounded the party. While most of the partygoers obeyed the masked men's orders to kneel and put their hands behind their heads, Dick followed Bruce's example in backing slowly towards the manor. If they could just slip away and get into costume…

They stopped abruptly as cackling laughter rang out from behind them. Bruce and Dick turned around to see the Penguin pointing his umbrella at them. "And where do you think you're going, Brucie? And taking the guest of honor with you? Shame!"

Bruce stepped forward, placing himself protectively between Dick and the Penguin. "What do you want?"

The Penguin grinned, showing off his pointy teeth. "Oh, I want that pretty new diamond encrusted penguin you bought, Bruce! It'll look great in my collection! Besides, I need some payback after I was arrested at one of your events!"

Bruce remembered that. Penguin was so obsessed with social status that he couldn't skip out on an invitation to a Wayne event, even if he was on the run from the police. It had been a trap, and the GCPD had nabbed Penguin quickly and cleanly, all thanks to Bruce Wayne. After Batman had heard Penguin had escaped Arkham, he had a fake Penguin statue made as a trap. Unfortunately, the plan may have just backfired. "The statue isn't here."

Penguin leered at Bruce Wayne. "Don't you think I already know that? Of course, you're going to give it to me. If you don't… well… you'll be missing your own little bird."

A short cry sounded from behind Bruce that made his blood run cold. He turned around to see two thugs tying Dick's hands behind his back. "Stop! Let him go, I'll let you have have the statue! There's no need to hurt him!"

"On the contrary, Brucie, there's every reason. Boys, knock him out!" Penguin's men hit Dick on the back of the head hard enough for him to slump in the arms of the thugs while Bruce didn't dare move for fear of Dick being hurt further. "See you later, Bruce! Deliver that penguin to the Gotham Aviary, or else!"

-Cue YJ Theme Song-

Dick woke up with a throbbing headache. His vision blurred and swam for a minute before settling down so he could see his shoes and figure out what was wrong with him. _Mild concussion,_ the Robin part of his mind supplied. He could still fight, but his head would be distracting. Still pretending to be unconscious, Dick snuck a peek at his surroundings.

He was tied to a wooden chair, his wrists bound separately to the arms. His legs were also tied to the chair legs. The chair seemed out of place among the surprisingly warm forest he seemed to be in, the bit of civilization contrasting with the loud chirping of birds. Wait… Birds… The Gotham Aviary. It was one of Penguin's favorite spots. Of course. Where else would Penguin take him on such short notice?

Penguin's nasally voice croaked above him. "Wake up, kid!" Dick didn't move. "Wake up! I need you awake!" Penguin got frustrated quickly. After a few minutes of yelling he seemed to blow his top. The distinct sound of metal unsheathing sounded and before Dick could react the retractable blade from Penguin's umbrella sliced across his left cheek.

Dick couldn't help the yip of pain that he uttered. He instinctively tried to touch the shallow cut, but was restrained by the ropes around his wrists. Once he had calmed down, Dick looked up at Penguin and gave him a piercing glare worthy of the Batman himself. The fop who called himself a villain actually flinched back. "What do you want?"

Penguin seemed to regain his usual cockiness. "Brucie will be showing up soon, and I need you to be on your best behavior. If you make a noise, I will shoot you. Cooperate and I may let you leave if Wayne pleads for your life."

For his troubles, Penguin got an eyeful of spit. "You're messed up!"

Penguin snarled and aimed his umbrella straight at Dick's head. "I'll teach you some manners, you little brat!"

Suddenly the ground started to shake. Dick got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as vines burst out of the ground and seized Penguin. A worryingly familiar female voice called out from behind him. "Now, Penguin, I need the boy. You've played villain a bit too long. I've got much bigger goals than a diamond penguin."

Dick's eyes widened in terror. " _Poison Ivy!_ "

-Commercial Break!-

Batman dropped into the aviary cautiously. Before Penguin had come to the drop-off point he had lead Batman on a wild goose- or penguin- chase through Gotham, with Batman just missing the wannabe socialite and his captive each time. For some reason, Penguin didn't seem to be at the drop-off point. Well, until Batman spied an unconscious Penguin and a worryingly shattered wooden chair.

Resting on the broken wooden chair was a leaf. The odd thing about this leaf was that it was wriggling.

" _Poison Ivy!_ "

A/N: YES! Young Justice Rules! Let's go! M'kay, so this fanfic was prewritten, so no long waits! Yaaay! Any who, standard rules, three reviews and I do shoutouts, yada yada. I just love stories where Robin's kidnapped in civvies! It's great!


	2. Poison Ivy

Dick woke up with a start and immediately realized he was upside down. A vine was wound around his ankles and wrists and he was dangling upside down. Dick's head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, but he could remember his second kidnapping. Poison Ivy had flung Penguin into a tree, then had a vine break the chair he had been sitting in and wrap itself around Dick's torso. The last thing Dick remembered was Poison Ivy's self satisfied voice muttering, " _Now maybe they'll LISTEN to me,_ " Right before glittering yellow dust had knocked him out.

At least now Dick knew that the spores that had knocked him out weren't mind controlling. The mind controlling spores were usually pink, now that he thought about it. Now where was Poison Ivy…

"So, you're awake." Speak of the devil. "Open your eyes. You're not fooling me." Dick hesitantly opened his eyes to see Poison Ivy sitting on a throne made of a giant rose in front of him. "Good. Now, let's flip you over. Wouldn't want my hostage to die." Dick's eyes widened as the vine flung him into the air, then caught him and stuck him into a cage of vines. "That's better. Now for the camera. I hate technology, but it's necessary this time."

Plants started setting up a camera pointed at Dick on Poison Ivy's command. Meanwhile Dick tried to get his headache to stop throbbing so hard so he could figure out what was going on. "What do you want with me?"

Poison Ivy sighed. "Well, it's nothing personal, but I need an important hostage. I'm about to unleash a bunch of super plants in the city. To ensure that no meddling superheroes hurt my babies like they did last time, I need something to keep them away from me. Penguin was stupid enough to take you straight into my territory, and, well, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Now, let's send your guardian a little message, shall we?"

A vine snaked into the the cage and grabbed Dick's arms as he struggled to get free. "Hey! You can't do this!" Poison Ivy sighed and a smaller plant tendril wrapped around his mouth, silencing him.

A vine clicked the start button on the camera button and Poison Ivy started her message. "Hello Gotham. I've tried and tried to make this place less polluted and more plant-friendly, but Batman has stopped me every time. Well, I've come to the conclusion that this city is irreparable and must be destroyed. If a superhero interferes, I will kill Richard Grayson. Goodnight Gotham, and goodbye."

-Commercial Break Advertising Medicine, Teen Titans, and Discount Batarangs-

As the Batmobile pulled into the Batcave, an alarm went off. Batman hurriedly ran to the computer, and a video by Poison Ivy began playing. The picture showed Poison Ivy perched on a throne made of flowers beside a cage made of vines holding… his son. Dick was tied up with vines and gagged. Worryingly, there was a nasty cut on Dick's cheek and his eyes were slightly unfocused. The sight made Batman resolve to burn every single one of Ivy's plants this time. Nobody messed with his little bird. Batman refocused in time to hear Poison Ivy's message.

" _Hello Gotham. I've tried and tried to make this place less polluted and more plant-friendly, but Batman has stopped me every time. Well, I've come to the conclusion that this city is irreparable and must be destroyed. If a superhero interferes, I will kill Richard Grayson. Goodnight Gotham, and goodbye_."

The greenhouse Poison Ivy was hiding in looked unidentifiable, but then Batman caught sight of a logo reflected on the glass. _stnalP ytterP_ s' _htuR_. Batman used his computer to flip the logo around and clarify it, and it turned into Ruth's Pretty Plants. As Batman was about to jump into the Batmobile, a call came in from the Watchtower. Batman hesitated, then clicked _Receive_. Superman popped up on the screen and immediately started talking. " _Batman, what's the situation? And how's Dick?_ "

Batman grimaced. "They're at a greenhouse owned by Ruth's Pretty Plants. I'm about to rescue him. I'll send you the signal when it's safe to fight the plants."

Superman hesitated, then forged ahead. " _Batman, we can't just let civilians die. We have to fight the plants. We can't afford to wait for you to rescue Robin._ "

Batman unleashed a full Batglare at Superman. "You WILL wait for my signal. My town, my villain, my son. If you go ahead and Dick dies, I will never forgive you."

Superman sighed. " _Batman, you know I can't do that. I'll try to give you as much time as possible, but… we have to help. You have thirty minutes. After that, I'll have to send in the League. I hate it, but I can't sacrifice many for the good of one._ "

Batman was already running towards the Batmobile. "Fine! Thirty minutes! You better hope Robin is safe!"

-Commercial break about insurance. What's up with those anyway?-

Poison Ivy's plants turned off the camera. "There. That wasn't so hard, was it, Richard?"

Dick glared at Poison Ivy, then decided to pull a classic damsel in distress line. "Batman's going to throw you back in Arkham again. He won't let all those innocent people die to save me."

Poison Ivy glowered. "I know. But it's all progress. I'll destroy Gotham bit by bit each time I break out of jail."

Dick stared at Poison Ivy. "You DO belong in the looney bin. That'll never work! You're just wasting lives and resources!"

The plants around Dick started squeezing him until his ribs groaned. Poison Ivy hissed in annoyance. "I do NOT belong in that wretched square of concrete! You know, I can still use you as a hostage if you're damaged!" The pressure increased until an ominous _Crack!_ sounded. Dick screamed as two of his ribs broke under the strain. "Unfortunately, I still do need you alive. For now."

Poison Ivy shuddered and fell to her knees. "NO! The Justice League is attacking my babies! Well, rich boy, that means it's time for you to die!" Plants shot towards Dick and wrapped around his throat, choking him. A batarang flew through the air, slicing through the plants and freeing Dick, who promptly dropped to the floor, nearly unconscious. He had barely enough strength to register Batman beating up Poison Ivy. Just as Dick was about to fall into unconsciousness, he was grabbed from behind and a knife was held to his throat.

"Well, well, well Batsy! Look what we have here!" It was Joker. Dick would recognize his sinister voice anywhere. "Now, I don't really have anything against this kid, but I'd like some bait, so unless you want me to slice this kid's throat, you'll let us leave peacefully. Don't worry, you'll find him again! Ta ta!" That was the last thing Dick heard before he blacked out.

A/N: Well, I got exactly three reviews, so I get to do shoutouts! Yay!

: Thank you! I kinda went off the Penguin I know from Batman: The Animated Series and The Batman.

Boogalee99: Thank you! I love writing sassy Robin!

Guest: Why thanks! And here's an update for you!


	3. Joker and Harley

A/N: One word. _BLEEP!_ There. So, at 10:00 last night I was looking at my email. I saw an amazing review from A Small Voice. My reaction: Well, bleep, I'm a dumbbleep. I did something incredibly inane. (That's my word of the day. I've said it five times. I don't even know anymore.) Apparently, I posted the bleeping sequel before the last chapter of the first story. Facepalming for reals. Like, I'm legit wondering how stupid I can be. This chapter has been typed up for days, just chilling on my computer. I forgot to post it. I'm gonna go sit in a corner and ram my head against the wall. I feel so sorry for my poor, confused readers.

Batman stormed into the Batcave, obviously furious. Alfred met him at the Batcomputer. "Master Bruce? Did you rescue Master Dick?"

If possible, Batman looked even more angry. "I had him. He was right there, I was beating up Poison Ivy, and I lost him! I should have made sure Dick was okay first! I should have-"

Alfred did the unthinkable. He interrupted. "Master Bruce, what on Earth are you talking about? What happened to Master Dick?" Batman managed to calm down enough to answer.

"I got there, and Poison Ivy was choking Dick to death. I stopped her, and started fighting her while Dick was unconscious, or at least nearly unconscious, on the ground near us. I finally knocked Ivy out, but when I turned around Joker was there with a knife to Dick's neck. I… I had to watch him drag Dick off! Who knows what Joker could be doing to him!"

The elderly butler was pale and had a crease in his forehead. "Well then sir, you had better get to work finding him."

Batman nodded hastily and strode to his seat at the computer. "Hold on Dicky. I'll find you."

-Commercial break advertising phone plans-

Dick woke up upside down. Again. Oh joy. He had a nasty headache that made him half believe that his head was splitting open. Hearing maniacal cackles, he kept his head down in the faint hope that Joker wouldn't notice his wakefulness.

"Wakey, wakey!" No such luck. Not wanting to get cut with a knife again by an overanxious villain, Dick slowly opened his eyes. He was in a warehouse, hanging by his ankles from a rafter. His hair was millimeters from brushing the floor, and Dick briefly wondered how Joker had gotten such a ridiculously long rope. All random thoughts were immediately banished from his head when the crazed clown himself walked in front of Dick. "Ooh, rich boy, you look kinda dizzy. Harley!"

Harley Quinn popped up from the desk in the corner. "Yes Mister J?"

Joker pointed at Dick with his knife. "Cut the kid down!" Harley nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes Mister J!" She threw an axe that barely missed chopping Dick's feet off and sliced through the rope, releasing Dick, who let out a soft moan of pain as his broken ribs were jarred.

"Ooh, kiddie, that looked like it hurt! Y'see, I have a dilemma. I'm not sure how to properly kill you. I kidnapped you as bait for Bats, and I want him to run in here all heroic, only to find you dead in a horribly gruesome way on the floor! What d'ya say? Should I slice you to death, kill you with a giant mallet, or finish choking you to death?" Joker leered at Dick, who had a gag in his mouth and couldn't talk. "I think I'll do it all! Let's give you a few cuts, smash a few limbs with a mallet, and then make sure you're totally dead by strangling you! How does that sound?" Dick's eyes widened in terror. Joker took that as a yes. "All righty then! HARLEY! KNIFE!"

Harley popped up beside Joker. "SIR YES SIR!" and handed him a very big switchblade. Joker paced around Dick, trying to decide where to cut him first. Dick was lying on his back on the floor, with his hands tied in front of him and his ankles tied together.

Joker seemed to get an idea. "HARLEY! Flip the kid over!"

Harley seemed to nearly bounce with glee. "YESSIR!" Dick screamed into his gag as Harley flipped him onto his stomach, making his ribs feel like they were crying out in pain. Joker knelt down next to Dick and began slowly carving into Dick's back.

Dick panicked and began to struggle against Joker, trying desperately to roll away. "Now, now, rich boy, STAY STILL OR I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!" Dick immediately stilled, hoping to god that Batman would rescue him.

Joker continued to carve something into his back. Dick shuddered as he realized that Joker was cutting a surprisingly accurate bat symbol. (Actually, it wasn't very surprising how accurate Joker was, seeing as he kept seeing that symbol in the sky and on his archnemesis' chest, but that's beside the point.)

Joker sat back and admired his work, grinning. "There we go! I knew I had potential to be an artist! That should send a nice message to Bats!" Dick's back was in agony, feeling the shape of his mentor's symbol acutely on his back. Joker shot to his feet. "HARLEY! MALLET!"

Harley handed her signature giant wooden mallet to Joker. "YES BOSS!"

Joker raised the mallet high above his head and Dick buried his face into the ground, bracing himself for the shattered bones that would result from this. A whizzing sound filled the air and a batarang slammed the mallet aside. Joker and Harley whipped around to see Batman standing in the doorway beside Commissioner Gordon. "No, no, no! I haven't killed the kid yet! Bats, this is all wrong! How many times have I gotta tell ya, wait for your cue!"

Batman scowled even more, if that was possible. "Step away from Richard, Joker."

Joker looked at Batman like he was an imbecile. "Now why on Earth would I do that?"

Batman practically snarled and pounced at Joker, knocking him across the room. Commissioner Gordon began shooting at Harlequin, coming extremely close. Reinforcements arrived and helped the Commissioner secure Joker while a policeman that Dick recognized as Detective Bennet (anyone get that reference? Anyone?) and a paramedic rushed over and loaded Dick onto a stretcher and put him into an ambulance. Dick passed out to the sound of Batman beating Joker black and blue for taking his little bird.

-DADDYBATS FOR THE WIN YAAAAY!-

After Batman handed an unconscious Joker to the police he jumped into the Batmobile and sped home. He longed to change in the car and go straight to the hospital, but Bruce Wayne wasn't supposed to know that his son had been rescued yet. Batman changed in record time once he got back to the cave, yelling the good news over his shoulder at Alfred as the billionaire forgot every lesson in decorum he had ever had and ran for the telephone.

He only had to wait a few moments for the phone to start ringing, the caller ID thankfully being Jim Gordon. Bruce picked up on the first ring and eagerly asked, "Did you find him?"

Commissioner Gordon smiled at Bruce's anxiousness and replied, "Yes. He's… injured, though. Dick's at Gotham Memorial Center."

Bruce nodded, even though Gordon wouldn't hear him. "I'm on my way."

Bruce hung up, then collapsed into his chair. He knew Dick had been rescued, but there was a lot of blood and Bruce had been terrified Dick had suffered permanent damage. He could only imagine what would have happened if Joker had gotten the chance to use that mallet… it didn't bear thinking about. Bruce suddenly realized he was just sitting there, and that he had to get moving.

And move he did.

-Advertisements about dog food!-

Dick woke up in a hospital bed, on an IV drip, with his back in fiery agony, his head aching, and not being able to breathe deeply because of his ribs. But it was better than being upside down. Dick groaned and slowly opened his eyes. There, staring anxiously at him, was Bruce. "Hey, Bruce. Some birthday, huh?"

Bruce sat back and sighed in relief. "How do you feel?"

Dick was going to shrug, but thought better of it and answered verbally. "Awful, but I'll live. Did I actually just get kidnapped by three Gotham crazies in one day?"

Bruce sighed again and nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry, I was so close every time, I just missed you and-"

Dick tried to sit up, but fell back, defeated. "Bruce! It's not your fault! It's okay! Besides, I got a pretty cool tattoo out of it, so…" Bruce chuckled. It was so like Dick to try to put a positive spin on the most awful and traumatizing things.

His laughing turned to choked sobs. "I thought… I thought I lost you. You were laying so still on the ground, covered in blood, and I thought… I thought…" Dick grabbed Bruce's hand and smiled at him tearfully.

"It's okay. God, it was terrifying, and I'm probably going to need therapy, but I survived, and I'll make a full recovery. I knew you would save me."

Bruce smiled, looking nothing like his fearsome alter ego. "Of course I did. I always will."

And Dick fell asleep to the sound of beeping machines and the feel of his adoptive father's smile.

A/N: The feels are strangling me. Just like Poison Ivy is currently actually strangling me with her plants 'cause I let Batman win… M'kay. I have a concussion now because I kept whacking my head into the wall… Jk. But seriously. I'm an idiot. Feel free to yell at me. I love this chapter. It's my favorite. Like, ever. Love the irony of Joker carving a batsymbol into Dick Grayson. I like to write the Joker from Young Justice, as well as Under the Red Hood. I'm reading Nightwing, and… Just no. That Joker… I'm surprised I don't have nightmares. God, I don't know how anyone can write that, much less illustrate it. Dang. I wish I were that sadistic. Jk. I'm really, really glad I'm not. Jeez… Anyway, shoutouts!

A Small Voice: Nope, never. Never, ever, ever. Happy birthday to Dickybird! I'm so mean. But seriously. What a birthday. Oh, and thanks so much for your review on the first chapter of I Don't Need to Be Rescued. I had no clue I forgot to post this chapter. I'm really stupid.

Boogalee99: Nope. No breaks! Dick just gets thrown around, tossed from one villian to another. I think Ra's al Ghul is my favorite villian, then Joker, then… I dunno. Probably Poison Ivy, 'cause she's a girl.

Ladnik: Yup. Awful luck. Here's your chapter. Finally. I'm really dumb. Like, I don't even know anymore.

Guest: Um, I only speak English and a little bit of French. But I think I kinda know what you said. Google Translate is great. Not. Anyway, yeah. They just keep dragging poor Dick around.

Guest (2): Thanks! You have no idea how much your review means to me. I've been trying to be more descriptive, and it's great to see you guys have noticed! And as you can see, lots and lots of DaddyBats in this chapter!

Guest (3): Here's your chapter!


End file.
